I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a long time at the pool today. We compared knee surgery scars. It’s like sharing your badge of courage for going under the knife. I do think my scar is healing just as well as the healing going on underneath, but I still have work to do to get it to a good place. After surgery which includes an incision, it is quite common for there to be heightened sensitivity around the scar. This is something I did not experience with my any previous surgeries but they also were not on a major joint. It’s a very weird sensation and for me is further compounded by the fact that I have a spot near the incision that is numb as well. So what are you supposed to do to get rid of it? Touch it, ugh. You are supposed to do the very thing that gives you the heebie jeebies. This is and has been the one part of physical therapy that I do not like. The first time my physical therapist touched the scar I almost jumped out of my skin. Further proof that I need the therapy.
Tonight I got to catch up with a friend. We chatted a bit about some of the things that had been difficult for us in the past. I joked about how each time it happens, it’s exposure therapy and each time it should become easier and easier to deal with. And it clicked that the scars on our heart that have been left there for any number of reasons are just like the scars left by major surgery. They need to be tended to just like the ones on our skin and sometimes in the very same way. I am not saying that you need to expose yourself to the very situation or person that hurt you, but you can’t let that keep you from getting back out there and trying again. Whether it’s a failed business venture or a broken heart, you need to be vulnerable enough to try again or the scar will continue to become hypersensitive to the point that you would rather just not try anymore.
So I am off to get a wet wash cloth to do my homework from physical therapy–5 minutes of extreme torture, but each time it will be easier. As for the scars on my heart, well I am working on that, too, but I am going to keep that to myself for now.